Lonely

I was so lonely and sad today that I pulled on one of my ex boyfriend's shirts. I don't understand why it just prompted me to get angry and cry. He wants me to be friends with him. Well, friends talk, he eats fast food, meat, meat, meat, drinks soda, and his mother cooks for him, while laughing and joking constantly with anyone who walks in, while he plays video games, or visits friends who do the exact same things. I eat home made pies, bread, pasta, and fresh vegetables almost every day, notice what's missing from that list? I run, swim, kayak, dance, and pick up broken glass on my slower return to my parent's hell hole. I'm supposed to talk about the process of making a pie crust, how I spent half my day with sweat pouring down my back so I could eat bread made with cruelty free eggs, how my water hose broke, and I had to water my lettuce by bucket. I want nothing more than to see my family for an hour a week and holidays, while reading and living completely off the grid. I'M SUPPOSED TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO IS QUICKLY BORED AND ANNOYED WITH THE FUCKED UP HIPPIE GIRL.